She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think a kid would responsible me up
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
