We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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