Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
