So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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