im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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