i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
