You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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