Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
