well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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