it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
