I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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