conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
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There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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