oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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