My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
