no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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