i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
