She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
