I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize