Pappa wants mamma naked
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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