O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
