He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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