the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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