in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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