so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
