The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
