i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
