Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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