thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
