Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
