Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
