may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My feet surprised me
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
