Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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