"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
