had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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