I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
