I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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