Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
What a dumb baby whore.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
