you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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