I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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