all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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