So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
