I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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