There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
