I feel like I'm in dance class right now
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
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