You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
