The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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