i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
