Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
