Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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