This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
