If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
