He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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