Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize