you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
