you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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