He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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