You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
