Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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