Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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